I’m a 39 year old studio owner and Pilates teacher of 17 years. I have trained in Contemporary Pilates, and Classical Pilates, but above all I just love Pilates, how it makes me feel and seeing how it helps transform people’s lives. Pilates has helped me recover from a back injury as a result of a car accident. Pilates has helped my carry and deliver two beautiful children into the world, and Pilates has made my body strong and resilient.
A Heffer
As anyone running a studio will know, it has its ups and downs. But a couple weeks ago, I arrived at my studio on a Monday morning ahead of a busy week, happy and full of positivity, excitement and pride in our team, only to find some vile, hateful emails which had been sent over the weekend. One called me a “HEFFER”. One said “Pilates teachers are meant to be role models, what happened to you CHUNKY?” One said I had better start “PRACTICING WHAT I PREACH”. NOT a great start to the week.
Initially I was shocked. The shock quickly turned to upset, and confusion and eventually I just felt angry. Who would do or say such a thing? Who could be so spiteful and vicious? What had I done to deserve that and in what world does anyone think that’s acceptable? The worst thing is, that it’s not even the first time that my body has come under critique as a Pilates teacher.
After the birth of my second baby, I was made to feel completely useless and inadequate by another teacher because I just couldn’t get the flipping carriage to close while attempting the Elephant on the Reformer. My post-natal body just couldn’t make that shape; “abs connected” – what??? Powerhouse- who??? I was told to “Just do it” by one fellow trainee – like it was the easiest thing in the world.
In my head, I was still me, the Pilates teacher. I used to be able to do the Elephant in my 20’s (pre babies). She made me doubt myself. Was she right? Why couldn’t I do this exercise now? Should I be able to do it – because all the other teachers were doing it and with 1 leg varieties?!
Everytime I took this shape, I had a complete fail – Pull Ups, Elephant, Tendon Stretch, Roll Overs… they all made me shudder with guilt when I saw the other teachers looking my way as I wobbled and grunted my way through the tears.

“You just rise up” said one instructor who was ‘teaching’ me Going Up Side on the Wunda Chair. I snapped, turned around and shouted “I JUST CAN’T, I’VE JUST HAD A BABY YOU IDIOT, STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A CRAP FATTY”. Ok, so maybe I didn’t say that, but that’s what I wanted to say. Instead I ran out the studio and had to take a moment outside in floods of tears!
The Pilates industry has got a problem with image
In another incident last year, I was told “Well it (Pilates) clearly doesn’t work, you haven’t lost any weight since you’ve been here!”
Let’s be honest. The Pilates industry has got a problem with image. It feels like there is an expectation of perfection to be an accepted teacher. If you went to your child’s school, you wouldn’t judge the teacher on their credentials and abilities based on their appearance or body type. The Pilates industry often feels like an extension of the fashion industry where people are judged all the time on their looks and size.
What did you say?
As parents, we wouldn’t tell our children doing their weekly football class that they haven’t lost any weight so they should probably give up their dream of being Ronaldo.
As Pilates teachers, we adapt the exercises to give our clients the positive feeling of getting 100% success. It doesn’t matter if they have a stronger spring to support them or if they modify an exercise to make it achievable.
So why aren’t Pilates teachers treated the same? Do you need to be a machine or a Superhero to be a teacher? Am I not worthy enough because my clothes size label doesn’t fit what our industry believes it should be. Who says what is acceptable anyway? As a teacher, do I need to have full working use of all my limbs? Do I need the perfect arch to my foot? Do I need to wear leotards and lycra and shop in fashionable sports lux brands? Can I have tattoos? Where does it end?
Not fitting in – literally.
I was in Sweaty Betty, trying to give my workout wear an overhaul. Having wrestled with ridiculous strappy tops that I had to dislocate my arm to get into and a boob shelf panel that works fine for B cups but not E cup bad boys, the shop assistant heard me getting a bit of an angry sweat on and offered to help, only to then say “They don’t really suit you if you’re a bit of a bigger instructor” What the actual f**k?!
“How many items did you want to take today miss” she went on to ask……. !!!
Who remembers when Lululemon founder Chip Wilson, got into hot water for his comment on TV when trying to defend why some of his yoga pants were getting sent back due to poor quality and thinning.
“They just don’t work for some ladies bodies. It’s really about the rubbing through the thighs, how much pressure is there over a period of time.”
I mean, come on… don’t you know the average woman is a beautiful size 16 with 36DD boobs. Our clients are these types of women and we don’t judge them. They don’t judge us either, mainly because they have their own crap going on and just want to get on with it, but the industry judges us as teachers, other teachers judge us, the media judges us!
As people working in the Pilates industry, it’s our job to be kind, respectful, to be intuitive, sensitive and to lift people up. There are wonderful people working in this business of all shapes, sizes, genders, race, abilities and even hair cuts! As an industry we need to take a stand to say it’s not ok to body shame people. Remember, we are all human beings and we hurt if we are wounded.
Written by Michelle Smith, Owner of The Pilates Pod.
this is amazing. thank you for writing that.
Thank you for taking the time to read it and for your comments. This is such an important topic to discuss and I’m sure there are lots of others who may have received negative comments on their appearance as teachers. I hope we can spread the message and see a change in the industry. Michelle x
You are a Angel…I am in the over 60 with over 15 year Pilates teaching experiences and over 20 years bodywork and it is a shame that people will judge you based on appearance and youthful looks and ignore life experience!
Experience and ability shouldn’t be judged on looks should it! Thanks so much for commenting.
Great post -I’m training as a pilates teacher in my 50s – fully expecting the ageist comments to fly around.
I’m not worried, as I know I’m a nice person with a great desire to help whoever will place their trust in me …. I’m not out to influence or compete with the (perfect) instagramers -I’m sure that there is a tribe for everyone and you seem a kind and genuine person who I am sure has many fans and happy clients. Keep believing in yourself and what you bring to others.
Age or life experience?! lol.
As you say, remember your tribe is out there. Live your dream, a career in Pilates is amazing, I feel so blessed to have had it for 16 years.
x
Nobody can judge us without us entering into the deal, just like a flower will only grow on fertile soil. We can never control the judgers, but we can make a decision to be strong and comfortable in our own bodies. Anything negative said to you Michelle, is about the energy of the offender and has nothing whatsoever to do with you. It is about the view of the world taken by the other party. Anyone coming to us with anger or ugliness of words actually needs our compassion because something in them is hurting…and they are on some level, in pain themselves!!! I taught Pilates for many years whilst 3 to 4 stone above a healthy weight. My clients often told me they felt relief to see a realistic Pilates teacher and as such themselves felt very comfortable and unjudged by me. I devenoped a client base of people who felt comfortable with me…who were all sorts of people. Now I have lost most of the weight and actually feel like I’ve lost a little edge. The benefit to me is that I know what it feels like to be trying to perform some of the exercises with my tummy in the way so this actually makes me a better teacher. I don’t think it’s about industry image…be your own woman, have confidence in your undoubted beauty, be kind to yourself and accept the emotions that come up about this, but don’t let them be your whole story. Move forward in your beauty and with confidence that you are an individual and not at the behest if anyone’s expectation. X
Thank you for such powerful and thoughtful words Monica. x
Michelle, you are gorgeous, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Too bad I live in a different country and can’t train at your studio. My instructor is slender and athletic, and while he’s lovely and never says anything negative about my body, he can’t relate to the fact that my DD boobs make some exercises more difficult. 😀
Embrace those bad boys…. i know exactly how it feels to swallow your boobs in inversions lol!
Oh, Michelle, how I love this article!! It went straight to my heart, thank you.
It makes me sad to read what you’ve been through, being a Pilates instructor. Unfortunately, I experienced all kinds of body shaming through my life. I keep working hard to fight the battle, to learn to silence these voices and comments. But it can be a struggle some days.
So I support you wholeheartedly when you say that as an industry you need to take a stand to say it’s not ok to body shame people. But I’d like to take it a step further by saying ad an human being we need to take that stand!
Hi. Thank you for commenting, So sorry to hear you have had to put up with body shaming. It’s not on!
As you say, once heard, its hard to silence them but we can just keep spreading love and positivity which is I am doing with the launch of #yourbodyrocks at the end of April.
keep an eye!
I tend to agree with you. Sometimes I feel out of place when I go on these Pilates courses, and all the teachers are strutting their stuff! It just feels a bit like a model agency.
What I tend to get sometimes if I end up with an injury( due to other issues going on in my body, and perhaps being yanked by my dog when walking, or playing tennis and doing something silly) is:
“If you get injured, what chance do we have?”
What?
Everyone gets injured! Even Pilates teachers!
They must think we are some sort of God like creatures that are perfect in body and mind? I don’t know.
But I do get what you mean, totally, and there is a bit of a body image stigma attached to Pilates teachers, and perhaps we should start takk8ng about what is Pilates for, and who is it for, and how it is of benefit to people no matter what size, shape or state their bodies are in?
It’s a form of movement, that shouldn’t be judged by any of those things.
Yesthat can be hard. Looking at your shopping baskets, commenting on your injury….
but if Pilates teachers are shaming others as in most of my cases, what chance have we got as a profession?!
Thank you so much for writing this!!!
Ah thank you for reading it and commenting Rebecca. I hope you will look out for our Yor Body Rocks campaign at the end of April to spread body positivity
Beautiful description of what it’s like being an instructor and not fitting into someone’s ideal. I’ve put on weight and hit menopause since I started teaching. Plus, I had hip surgery which pulled me out of my own practice and made it hard to get back at it. There was nothing quite as humiliating as showing up at the PMA conference and being told very sympathetically that I could probably get “back in shape” if I just tried a little harder. Ummmm – by someone I had never met.
WHAT?! Thats just not on. Pilates teachers shaming other teachers is just awful.. so sorry you had to go through that.
And yes exactly as you said, its not fitting into SOMEONE ELSE’S view of what is ideal!
Without of course realising what Pilates IS FOR, not just the Pilates look!
Wonderful article Michelle. I’ve been at training and workshops alongside you and done classes with you and I love your teaching. You’re a beautiful person inside and out so don’t let these angry, negative and rude people get to you. I’ve suffered the same negative type of comments on and off for years too but I just try to follow what I feel is right for me and my teaching and don’t let those others hurt me too much along the way.
Thanks Jane, and Hi !!
Its a sad time if Pilates teachers are shaming other teachers, and the view of our industry is more related to the outside look ie the model industry, rather than the journey, the process, the inside health!
see you soon hopefully x
This article is EVERTHING! I am also an insructor and personal trainer, in this business for over 20 years. I have always been heavy. Of course it bothers me at times however my body is very strong very capable and very feminine. I’ve been thinking lately about how the fitness industry has failed not only many clients ,but also fellow instructors via current fitness culture. Not everyone in this industry is going to be small. Not everyone in this industry is going to have seriously defined muscles. Not everyone is going to “look the part” That “was made by a celebrity trainer and when I read that I completely lost all respect for her. Fitness is evolving into wellness and wellness and compasses so much more than aesthetic. As industry professionals it is of utmost importance that we lift each other up instead of judging and tearing down based on how someone looks. Just because someone “looks the part” it does not mean that they can actually teach, that they have empathy and compassion, that they can relate to their clients and know what they need
Personally I have always felt “less then” in this industry because of the way that I look. There have been several occasion’s where people give me the up-and-down and look very surprised when I tell them what I do for a living. It has taken many years and a lot of resilience to know that my value is not based on how my body looks. I am extremely good at my job. I enjoy it thoroughly I make a difference in people’s lives and it doesn’t matter what size I am. If all we do is focus on looks then we are not only failing ourselves but we are failing the people who come to see us in order to feel better over all. Sure losing weight and looking better is likely a goal but it is not the only goal it doesn’t matter if you’re thin if you can’t move well or if you are in pain. Thank you so much for writing this article… It resonates on so many levels and I can only hope that people’s mindsets change and realize that there is so much more that we have to offer then just the shape of our body.
Thank you Kelly for such a lovely comment back. I think we all need to hold your comments up in a mantra
“my value is not based on how my body looks”
Please look out for my campaign Your Body Rocks launching end April and i hope you will put exactly that message on a rock of kindness and sprinkle it out to the world
michelle x
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m not your typical “small” pilates instructor either. And I feel very self conscious when I’m with other “skinny” instructors. But I’m starting to love who I am and what I look like. I’m pretty strong and that’s thanks to pilates. I’m not going to give that up just because I don’t look like – what the world sees – as a typical pilates instructor. If you take me on – bring on what you’ve got and see if you can do what I do.🌝
Hi Michelle. “Skinny” too suffer from the body shaming. A wonderul teacher at my studio gets comments regularly that she isnt healthy or strong because she is a petite frame and struggles to put on weight.
we are who we are, we move and we breathe, we think and we hurt if people attack us.
kindness is the only way forward i think and a massive shift in attitude to the percetion of what is “healthy” or the “ideal”
thank you for sharing x
To everyone who has commented, I thank you!
Please do check out the campaign I created in support of celebrating our bodies for what they are, how they move and what they have been through and less focused on how they physically look
Check out Your Body Rocks group on Facebook
love to see you there.
Michelle x